Random meat lunch buffet

Meat 1: Polish Sausage

Just in case you missed it, today is Heterosexual Appreciation Day. So to all you homosexuals, you're welcome.

Meat 2: Old Back-Dated Quicky-Mart Jerky

Communists for Kerry have sent their candidate to the Gulag to make way for Hillary in '08.

Meat 3: Mixed-Meat Hot Dogs (Grade H, but edible)

The following celebrities are in really bad moods: Jon Stewart, Mena Suvari, Ileana Douglas, Ethan Hawke, Linda Fiorentino, Carson Daly, Harvey Weinstein, Robert Morgenthau, Alan Cumming, Carl Bernstein, Bianca Jagger, Charlie Rose, Barbara Walters, Ted Forstmann, Tina Brown and Harry Evans, Russell Simmons, Anna Deavere Smith, Gloria Steinem, Cyndi Lauper, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon. This list will be expanded as the days go on.

Meat 4: Oscar Mayer Bologna

Liberal Republican Arlen Specter is lecturing President Bush not to nominate any of those nasty strict-constructionists to the U.S. Supreme Court. Why doesn't he just pull a Jim Jeffords and switch parties already, the bastard?

All this meat talk is making me hungry. I'm going to lunch.