Is our food supply safe?

Or is this just another moronic comment from another of President Junior's ship-jumpers?

When announcing his resignation last week, Thompson spake thusly:

"For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it is so easy to do," Thompson said.

"We are importing a lot of food from the Middle East, and it would be easy to tamper with that."

Thankfully, someone as quick-witted as Borowitz was paying attention. He has some follow-up from Thompson's statement that you may have missed.

"It's one thing to say that contaminating the nation's food supply is easy to do and another thing to explain exactly how to do it," Mr. Thompson said.

In order to help terrorists learn precisely how to taint America's food supply, Mr. Thompson said, helpful food-contamination tips would be posted online at the Health and Human Services website.

"Any terrorist madman wanting to contaminate our food supply just needs to click on over to www.hhs.gov/foodcontaminationtips," Mr. Thompson said.

But within hours of Mr. Thompson's speech, international terror mastermind Osama bin Laden issued a new tape complaining that he had tried to click on the food-contamination link and had been directed to a page reading "Under Construction."

Mr. Thompson immediately apologized to the international terror community for the non-functioning food-contamination web page.

"Getting a new web page up on the Internet is not an easy thing to do," Mr. Thompson said. "It's certainly not as easy as attacking the nation's food supply."

Elsewhere, retailer Toys 'R' Us reported lower-than-expected numbers for the holiday season thus far, blaming disappointing sales of "Blow It Out Your Ass Elmo".