Friday football picks

Since Kelly gave me some grief for last week's lack of picks, here are this week's picks. I would bet the house on every single game based on my outstanding track record.

Tomorrow's NCAA games: Vols 28, Vandy 10 (they're so horrible, we could beat them with me at quarterback); Auburn 34, Alabama 16; Michigan 27, Buckeyes 14; Florida State 29, Gay-tors 14; and for Jeff Quinton, Clemson 17, South Carolina 14.

In the pros on Sunday, all the players will be as high as Ricky Williams, resulting in the following scores: Jags 24, Titans 17 (I think we should throw the rest of the games to move up the draft board, but that's not Jeff Fisher's style, unfortunately); Indy 35, Chicago 10; Denver 29, New Orleans 10; Atlanta 31, NY Giants 14 (Why the hell are they starting Manning? Do they want to get him killed?); and for Lisa & Kelly, the Texans upset the Pack, 27-21. Sorry ladies, that's just the way it is.

These picks and $10 will get you a scalped ticket outside Vanderbilt's Commodore stadium tomorrow in Nashville.