The Freeloader and the Ambulance Chaser

The 2004 dim-o-cratic ticket would make a good action show - a la Hardcastle & McCormick, Jake & the Fat Man, or, most appropriately, Cagney & Lacy. Of course, this series would have to be called "Freeloader & the Ambulance Chaser."

Here you have two of the richest men in America trying to portray themsevles as commoners. These idiots are as far as you can get from being in touch with the common man. According to the Old Media, the Ambulance Chaser is worth a minimum of $70 million, while Lurch the Freeloader is worth $1 billion - thanks to marrying well.

According to their combined Senatorial voting records, this is the most leftist ticket the Dim-O-Crats have produced since Mondull/Ferrari 20 years ago. That may bode well for us, as I believe the majority of Americans are not bed-wetting socialists like these hacks.

Back to the Boy Wonder - I've known since the primaries that Edwards was a blood-sucking trial lawyer who spent his time getting rich suing sinister tobacco companies, evil doctors and the like, but Ann Coulter's column today exposes an even sleazier side to this side-show carnie. This passage should clue you in to what a complete piece of human debris this guy is (and that, by the way, is what makes him the perfect running mate for Lurch).

Despite the overwrought claims of Edwards' dazzling legal skills, winning jury verdicts in personal injury cases has nothing to do with legal talent and everything to do with getting the right cases -- unless "talent" is taken to mean "having absolutely no shame." Edwards specialized in babies with cerebral palsy whom he claimed would have been spared the affliction if only the doctors had immediately performed Caesarean sections.

As a result of such lawsuits, there are now more than four times as many Caesarean sections as there were in 1970. But curiously, there has been no change in the rate of babies born with cerebral palsy. As The New York Times reported: "Studies indicate that in most cases, the disorder is caused by fetal brain injury long before labor begins." All those Caesareans have, however, increased the mother's risk of death, hemorrhage, infection, pulmonary embolism and Mendelson's syndrome.

In addition, the "little guys" Edwards claims to represent are having a lot more trouble finding doctors to deliver their babies these days as obstetricians leave the practice rather than pay malpractice insurance in excess of $100,000 a year.

In one of Edwards' silver-tongued arguments to the jury on behalf of a girl born with cerebral palsy, he claimed he was channeling the unborn baby girl, Jennifer Campbell, who was speaking to the jurors through him:

"She said at 3, 'I'm fine.' She said at 4, 'I'm having a little trouble, but I'm doing OK.' Five, she said, 'I'm having problems.' At 5:30, she said, 'I need out.'"

..."She speaks to you through me and I have to tell you right now -- I didn't plan to talk about this -- right now I feel her. I feel her presence. She's inside me, and she's talking to you."

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde on the death of Little Nell, one must have a heart of stone to read this without laughing. What is this guy, a tent-show preacher? An off-the-strip Las Vegas lounge psychic couldn't get away with this routine.

Is Edwards able to channel any children right before an abortionist's fork is plunged into their tiny skulls? Why can't he hear those babies saying, "Let me live! Stop spraying this saline solution all over me!" Edwards must experience interference in channeling the voices of babies about to be aborted. Their liberal mothers' hands seem to muffle those voices.

You should really read the whole column - as usual, it's biting, cynical and hilarious all at once. I don't know how she always manages to pull that off.

The bottom line is that now you have the liberal Dim-O-Crat dream-team assembled and anyone with enough sense to come in out of the rain should be able to see through their parade of bullshit. Sadly, a good number of Americans prefer to wait for the Federal Government to tell them when to come out of the rain - turning personal responsibility over to the government makes life so much easier.