Hurricane Charley's Aftermath

It's now being reported that Hurricane Charley has killed at least 15 people in Florida since yesterday afternoon and caused potentially billions in damage.

President Junior has weighed in, calling Florida a Federal Disaster Area. However, this was prior to the hurricane's devastation. After the hurricane hit, President Junior called it a "Really Really Disasterous Disaster Area."

Not to be outdone, Lurch and his Dingbat Wife have chimed in, extending their "heartfelt sympathies" to those impacted by the storm's brutality.

Lurch also said the following:

"If I had been president during hurricane Charley, we would have been better prepared. The damage and loss of life wouldn't have been nearly so great. I would have called in experts from the United Nations and European Union before the hurricane had even developed, and we would have had an effective course of action, not the standard neo-con reactionary Republican approach to hurricanes!"

Shortly after Lurch finished his statement, Theresa wrapped her head in aluminum foil and requested that the media help distract & divert the fleet of miniature alien spaceships that have been following her for the last three weeks.