Flushing the Johns

The billionaire and the millionare are out on the road pushing their rancid agenda down the eager public's throat.

Luckily, we have writers like TownHall.Com's Doug Giles who aren't buying the shitpie the John's are trying to sell.

I'm not buying their rhetoric or the happy, hugging and grinning, let's eat at Wendy's shtick they threw our way last week either. What did they expect us to do when we viewed their temporary make over? Elbow our wife and say, "Look Arlene, they're just like us, they eat at Wendy's! Garsh, we oughta vote for them … pass the opossum gravy!?!"

Did you see how Kerry held his Wendy's hamburger? He looked and handled that Single with cheese like a beaker of someone else's urine. Hey, Mr. Kerry, we might earn less in a year than the one of the bathrooms in your four mansions cost, but that doesn't make us blonde...

As hard as they try and, dear God, they are trying hard -- Kerry and Edwards, just don't have that mid-American feel.

Take John Edwards, for instance: no real person smiles that much. Middle Americans don't beam that bountifully. Neither Jesus nor kids stoned on expensive weed grin that much. Only avaricious ambulance chasing lawyers, running for vice president and trying to off set their Lurch-like presidential running mate, smile that much. This grinning Edwards reminds me of the overly gleeful guy who sold me a '75 Firebird back in '79, which turned out to be a complete piece of crap. And be sure of this: John Edwards is to Dick Cheney what Potsie was to the Fonz. The debates should prove interesting.

Just go read the whole thing. It's hilarious.

Thanks to J.H. for the tip