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4/23/2004

I'm so worried about what's happenin' today...




So I can't decide. What will it be this fall? Should I vote for President Junior again -- even though he paraded around in 2000 portraying himself as a smaller-government conservative, only to take office and start spending like a drunken sailor? Should I finally vote Libertarian -- even though their tendency towards isolationism and open borders makes me uneasy? Should I vote for Lurch? Well, not voting for the Socialist Party Ketchup Kandidate is about the only thing of which I'm certain this time around.

Or, should I simply not vote and go get a whiskey instead?


So my good friend Leo Oshkosh says I shouldn't vote for President Junior. For what it's worth, here is his logic:

  • More women died in combat under junior than any other president.

  • Gay marriage is pervasive under Junior.

  • Illegal border crossings are up more than 30% after junior's loosening of temporary worker rules.

  • Junior and his lead economist Mankiw endorse outsourcing of manufacturing and high-tech jobs.

  • Junior selected his cabinet members based on race: see the cabinet here if you don't believe me:
    There is one of everything in there.... http://www.whitehouse.gov/government/cabinet.html

  • Junior gave seniors free drugs. With Junior around, who needs democracks?

  • Junior did not renew long-term unemployment benefits so that the unemployment rate would look lower than it actually is. In reality, unemployment is 9%. What is interesting about this move is that he had renewed or extended long-term unemployment benefits throughout his entire term.....until this year.

  • The deficit is higher than at any time during the Clinton administration. Even though Junior no longer drinks, he spends like a drunken fool.


He adds that a Lurch victory guarantees two things: First, Hitlery Clinton will never be elected President - age will catch up by 2012; and Republicrats will control the House and Senate - that is where the power is anyway.

He makes some interesting points, but some of his assumptions are, as usual, absurd. Let's take them one at a time:


  • It's not Junior's fault that more women have (allegedly) died under combat than under previous administrations. It was the Clintonistas who turned the military into a politically-correct social experiment and have effectively castrated it. This is why we're unwilling to use the iron fist in Iraq and do what needs to be done to crush the insurgent Islamofascists.

  • It's also not Junior's fault that the Gay marriage thing is taking off now. It would be happening under any Republicrat administration - and possibly even under a Socialist Gore administration. However, the odds of them acting up under Gore are less, I would think.

  • True. Junior must have some type of love affair going on with Vicente Fox, because he seems determined to open the borders and put the entire nation of Mexico on Social Security. Shameful.

  • Also True. The Republicrats love cheap labor - whether outsourced to other countries or illegals using leafblowers.

  • Exaggerated perhaps, but Junior has shown to be very politically correct in his domestic operations. I don't understand why the Socialists haven't praised him for this. I guess when Condi left the reservation, she made the blacklist. (Pun intended)

  • The Medicare deal was another embarrassment. Junior should be run out on a rail on this one alone.

  • I haven't paid much attention to unemployment numbers since they're all massaged until the administration likes the results. It's happened under every administration. You may be right, but the topic bores me. Next.

  • Junior's spending has been horrific. He has been anything but a fiscal conservative. I never thought I'd say this, but I long for the days of Clinton's reasonable domestic spending policies. I got nauseous just typing that.


As for Lurch being a better choice, I still can't agree with that. Leo will have to do more work convincing me on that one.

Well, hell. That whiskey is looking better and better and better.